I want to get married so I can have an affair.
Take note ladies: the keys to my heart: a receding snowstorm and a quality shovel.
Elevate your friends into strangers.
Show your mom your browsing history.
The type of guy who takes off all his rings before a fistfight.
“He used to drink a lot, but now he just watches a ton of tv.”
and some old couples often lie and chat over old times till nearly morning
moody automatic sinks
I just googled “Inca Women”
Someone go on a bender with me?
One of those egg-eyed weirdos you see on the streets of New York City.
“I’m like itching to relax right now”
knuckles a rainbow of pain
Life is a party your mom dragged you to.
Be the shame you want to see in the world.
Abraham just couldn’t get it up.
Just rhyming coddled and bottled till I die, you?
I write 100s of poems a year.
I can’t masturbate or else my dick will bleed.